Last week, I talked about settling for a so-so relationship. You know deep down inside that it’s not going to lead anywhere and he’s not Mr. Right but you hang on anyway. Why? Why would you do this when you’re so fabulous and deserve so much more? I asked you to begin thinking about the things in the relationship you didn’t like. Maybe it was some of his qualities or the way you related to one another or perhaps you forgot about or diminished your own needs. If you missed the video, click here to watch it now.
This week, I wanted to talk about a very important list. In life, I believe it’s important to get clear ~ I mean really clear ~ like razor-sharp clarity. This list is much more fun to compile than the one from last week because we’re focusing on what you WANT in a relationship. It’s everything you’d like to see in your ideal man ~ the qualities you’d like him to have ~ the way you’d communicate ~ the things you’d do ~ your sense of you being in the relationship. It’s all of those things wrapped into ONE list.
Here are a few tips on making the most of your wish list:
1. Frame it positively. For example, instead of writing, “He’s not a cheater” write “He is loyal.” Instead of “He’s not a slob” write “He appreciates organization.” You get the idea. Make the statements from a positive angle with a positive thought in mind.
2. Keeping adding to or changing your list as you have new experiences. I remember once during a lunch date with a “Match.com” suitor I thought I noticed that he had tiny hands. I mean REALLY tiny hands. I tried to be sly and use my peripheral vision and soon it became clear that ~ YES ~ he had what I know fondly refer to as Oompa-Loompa hands. They were the smallest hands I’ve ever seen on an adult man. As soon as I got home from our first and last date (I could go on and on about why this was the case but I’ll save that for another time), I wrote down on my wish list “He has man hands.” The importance of such criteria had never struck me before that moment but suddenly, it became very meaningful.
The photograph you see is an actual excerpt from the list I made before I met my husband, Jeff. When I met him, my list was two pages long. It seemed like I had wished for a lot and I had a few doubts about finding a guy that could meet even half of these wishes much less all of them but you know what? Jeff actually did fulfill ALL of my wishes. It’s funny how when you put it out there dreams can come true.
I invite all of you this week, who feel ready to let love in, to start making your wish list. After all, what if it comes true?